I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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