Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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