He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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