Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
