I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
