how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
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