S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
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