Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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