My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
