The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
