jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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