im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
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It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
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I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize