I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
