the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Randomize
