Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
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