Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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