i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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