I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I'm just crazy horny about you
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Randomize
