I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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