Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
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