I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
