he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
