pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
