T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize