Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
