Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize