you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
pray to the hookup gods
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Randomize
