I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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