I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
He better not be in your backpack
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
