Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
