hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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