i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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