your thong is hanging out like whoa
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
They should really pass out barf bags in church
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
