I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
