On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
