Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
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