My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
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