He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
