By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
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