I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Randomize
