Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
