What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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