32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
