then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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