If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
