I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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