We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
