It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
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