No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
