I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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