well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
This beer is not sobering me up at all
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
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Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
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I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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