Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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