I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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