I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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