I'd wear matching sweaters with you
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Randomize
