Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
