I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
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